You plan, purchase, and pack for your dream trip - alone.
You drive, park, walk to the check-in, and go through security - alone.
You grab a magazine, go to the bathroom, and select your terminal territory - alone.
You watch people corral their children, post a #wanderlust Insta post of your boarding pass, and wait for your boarding group - alone.
You board the plane, stow your luggage, put on your headphones, and watch Coco hoping the guy next to you doesn't notice your relentless tears - alone.
You land, wait by baggage claim yawning, and hail a cab to the hotel you've been dreaming about for years - alone.
You arrive alone. Check-in alone. You spread your toiletries all across the bathroom counter...because you can...then head out for dinner - "table for one, please" - where you enjoy a meal making silent observations about the new people and world around you - alone.
How does that make you feel? Anxious or relaxed? Bored or optimistic?
I've traveled alone in small portions before, but nothing like I describe above. There's a difference between traveling alone on your way to meet a group and being alone with just your thoughts for extended periods of time. I don't think most people are cut out for it. I'm an only child, so I like to think I could travel solo with ease, but I do believe traveling without a companion to at least experience the same thing with would be hard. The extrovert in me would want to talk and be expressive, and the stranger-danger in me would prevent me from opening up to a world of people I don't know or trust.
When I was in Oxford last summer (summer 2017), my friends and I took a walking tour of the campus. While the group was collecting, I sat down on a nearby bench. I was joined by a woman, about my age. I smiled and greeted her thinking that would be the end of our acquaintance. Within five minutes I learned that she was a cyclist from Sweden. She'd arrived by ferry and was spending six weeks riding around Great Britain on her bike. Alone. What?!?! I don't know what impressed me more: the fact that she was circumnavigating Great Britain on a bicycle, or the fact that she had all of her belongings strapped to her back the whole time. Meanwhile, I was lugging a 49 lb. bag and a backpack around Great Britain thinking I was a pro-packer for my three-week trip. Who was I kidding?
I was both inspired and mystified by this woman. She seemed fearless to me. She was someone who wasn't easily scared, and open to the unexpected circumstances each day might give her. In talking with her I learned so much about myself. I need the security. I want the itinerary (albeit a flexible one). I want the print out with my hotel confirmation number tucked safely in my travel wallet. I want the adventure, without the spontaneity.
So, if you're like me, you're probably wondering if solo travel is a good idea. All the blogs and travel articles on the topic set the following expectations about solo traveling:
You have to be flexible and adaptable to the day and current situation. Traveling solo allows for spontaneity because you're not beholden to another traveler's wants or needs. But there are times when you may experience anxiety trying to face challenges alone.
You have to be okay with the word "alone" and the quiet that comes with it. I find it interesting that traveling alone has been re-branded "solo travel," as if it's a rite of passage. I think "solo travel" sounds a lot sexier than "traveling alone." Do you agree? Both come with eating, walking, sleeping, driving, riding, swimming, tanning, shopping and hiking alone.
It is a rite of passage. I don't disagree. I think you have to be comfortable in your own skin to travel solo. You have to be decisive - "what do I want to do today?" - confident - "Yes, I'm going in the right direction, and I'm not going to die going down this alley" - and okay being left alone with your thoughts - "That guy looks like a young Brad Pitt. Can he tell I'm taking a fake selfie to get a shot of him?"
I genuinely think I can do it, but I want to start small and work my way up to bigger "solo" trips. A weekend exploring a new city or spent at an all-inclusive resort seems like the easiest way to dip one's toes into solo travel. Stateside, I think destinations like NYC, Washington D.C., San Francisco and Newport allow for someone to remain entertained while not feeling out-of-the-ordinary without a companion.
I'll leave you with this fitting travel quote while you consider solo travel:
"When we get out of the glass bottle of our ego and when we escape like the squirrels in the cage of our personality and get into the forest again, we shall shiver with cold and fright. But things will happen to us so that we don't know ourselves. Cool, unlying life will rush in."
- D. H. Lawrence
More to come on my solo travel adventures.
AB
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